HOW TO TELL WHEN YOUR FRIEND IS LYING TO YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP

Ever wonder if a person is telling you a lie when in a normal state or in a relationship? There are clues which can tell you that a person is being less than truthful to you and there are methods you can use to get at the truth or manipulate the situation.

How To Spot if he or she is lying to you:

1. No eye contact. His eyes will look away. If the room has a means of egress - that's where they'll look.

 
2. Crossing of arms and/or legs (a protective instinct).

 
3. The pupils of the eyes will narrow. Lying is stressful.

 
4. Hands on the face, especially the mouth. They are "covering" the lie.
 

5. Talking fast. A liar wants to get it over with.
 

6. Sometimes the head will nod a "no" when answering a "yes" question or visa versa. This is a subconscious movement.
 

7. Mispronouncing the words or mumbling. A liar kind of thinks he is not lying when he pronounces words incorrectly or mumbles.
 

8. Overstated friendliness/laughing. He wants you to believe and he wants you to like him so you will believe him.

How Not To Be Lied To:

 

1. Sit in the higher chair. A subtle sort of intimidation.
 

2. Uncross your legs and open your arms - lean back. Make yourself "open" to the truth.
3. Ask for minute details (a challenge to the liar).
 

4. Don't ever tell them what you DO know - don't point out you know what they are saying is a lie. This is your own ego trip.
 

 5. Invade their personal space. Get close, they'll get uncomfortable (good).
 

6. Mimic their posture and movements..be subtle. This establishes a rapport and they'll never figure out why.
 

7. Speak in their style. Listen to how they think. If the person says things like "I HEAR ya!" or "that SOUNDS good", you'll know he thinks auditorially or with his ears. If he says "I shoulda SEEN it comin" or "I SEE what you mean", you'll know he is visually oriented. If he says things like "it HIT me like a tons of bricks" or "I just FROZE in my tracks", you'll know he thinks by feelings. Speak to him the same way. A good test is to ask someone to recite the alphabet. Some people will stare as if they are looking at the alphabet above the blackboard in grade school (visual), some people will sing the alphabet (auditory) and some people will taps out the letters (feeling). If you match their thinking method, you'll have instant rapport.
 

8. Give 'em an "out". You gotta make it easy for them to to tell the truth. Pretend you didn't hear them correctly or tell them you didn't understand what they said. Always leave a way out so they recant their words and tell the truth.
 

9. Stay calm. Never show surprise or shock. Treat everything they say with the same importance. The first time you react negatively you will lose any chance of being told the truth.

Hope these few steps can help in one way or the other for you to know when some is lying to you weather in relationship or not

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5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO UR GUY

• “You look old” or “you've grown fuller” or “your outfit doesn't really fit into the whole setup” - we all know that these are a few of the many things that you don't say to a woman-EVER!

But did you ever think that there might be a few phrases that you shouldn't say to a man? If no, then this is a wake-up call!

Although you might have used these innocently, but you may fail to realise that these seemingly nice and innocent phrases of concern may actually be the ones that leave a real long lasting impression on his mind and a deep scar on his ego, if used over and over again.
Here are the 5 things that you should never say to your man!

• “I DON'T THINK WE CAN AFFORD. LEAVE IT.”

Men like to be thought of as reliable creatures. A man needs to feel that his partner feels secure in his presence: physically, emotionally (yes, men too think of emotional stability and that too for you) but most importantly, financially. Also, most men are spenders by nature.
They like to splurge every once in a while even when their pocket is a little small.
You may have said this to him out of your concern to save up for a rainy day, but if you say so more than often, you may actually be destroying his faith in himself. Not just this, doing so may make him believe that you don't have a belief in him and that will eventually destroy his belief in you.

“YOU SHOULD LEARN A LESSON FROM HIM (YOUR FRIEND)!”

Never ever ever say this to your man! Men hate being compared to other men and if you think that by enlisting a few good qualities of someone else, you can make him learn something, then just pick this thought form your mind and throw it in the farthest dustbin!
And God forbid if you ever dare to refer to his friend when you say “him”, then you will actually ruin his day along with his mood! Accept it for a fact that men can't let behavioural comparison pass through their big fat egos, so just let this thought pass every time it arises inside you.

“I PROMISED HIM/HER THAT I WOULDN'T LET THIS OUT BUT I AM TELLING YOU, OKAY?”

Here you may actually be trying to show him that you trust him so much so that you are ready to forget all promises that you've made to your friends but when you start a sentence in this manner, it makes it look like a piece of gossip, no matter how serious it may be.
Also, eventually it might make him believe that you are not a trustworthy person because you can't keep any secrets with you and he might just think of you as a bad friend.
So whenever you have something of such sort to tell him, make sure you find a better way of saying it, like, “I know I can share this with you because I know that you'll maintain the secrecy of this issue”. This makes him know that you care about your friend's feelings and also that you trust him enough to make him a part of the whole thing and not just an outlet for channelising your gossip-flow.

“ARE YOU INSANE? THIS IS STUPID! WE SHOULDN'T DO THIS!”

Guys like to have fun and go wild and do adventurous stuff every now and then. And if he thinks that you can be a part of it, then you should actually be happy about it instead of snapping at him.
Of course there might be things that make no sense at all. For instance, if he says that let's go out and make out in the park, then you ought to give him a reality check but if he wants to talk you into something thrilling (something that is safe enough and certainly not illegal) then you should at least support him if you can't gather the courage to give it a try. But if you do decide to give it a shot with him then you'll see how strong your bond gets.

Just know the things you should say and you should not say when you see yourself in a serious relationship to avoid unexpected break up...Hear am!

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